I have this weird tradition... Actually, my brother and I have a weird tradition. It started about 8 years back, during the Christmas-Shopping-Gauntlet, where after hours of getting fisted by every retailer in existence we just stopped at the first restaurant we saw.

(ahem) Red Lobster.

Okay, not exactly the business you were expecting me to reveal but there you have it. Red Lobster... And the tradition became, for whatever reason, that every year after fighting hoards of soon-to-be-ex-boyfriends and junkie-single-mothers, we just went to Red Lobster.

It was and is an odd once-a-year ordeal where I feel I must seek out and -=gasp=- enjoy an afternoon of Scampi, cheddar biscuits, and lots of whiskey.

And so, with the passage of time, I became accustomed to a certain order I would make every year: Cutty on the rocks with a slice of lime, Caesar Salad, Cheddar Biscuits, Aztec Chicken and Broiled Scampi with French Fries and Mixed Vegetables. This has never changed, and as John Cusack once said: "...Eventually, you get to... like it."

So recently, I felt like having that meal. Don't ask why, the urge just hits me sometimes. And being that I like my kitchen and the things I can do with it, I made my own faux-red-lobster dinner.





Personally, I like my meal much better. I can drink a lot of Cutty and not worry about driving anywhere or punching a waitress. Plus, the cheddar biscuits are bigger and more plentiful. All in all, maybe I need a new tradition. And that new tradition should be me, at home, making this meal and then unwinding in front of the fireplace when it's all over...

Yeah.


"Don't you judge me Earl!"
- From My Name Is Earl

Recently, I've noticed a return of the classic but seldom used "lollipop" technique in popular cooking. In the last issue of Restaurant Management magazine there was a very prominent display of various lollipop interpretations, and a few weeks ago my mom even referred to the baby lamb chops I love so much as lollipops.

So yeah, it's making a comeback...



The technique used in the process of making a lolli is the classic but seldom seen Frenching method. Traditionally used on rib roasts and chops, it's actually a fairly simple task of scraping the meat away from the bone to leave a lovely amount of exposed Osseous tissue. As you can tell from the picture above, this basic procedure can be used on just about any piece of meat; that is if you're looking to get a little creative and non-traditional. (In some circles it is blasphemous to even THINK of using this technique on chicken. To quote John Travolta: "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke...")

The picture above is of Bourbon Chicken Lollipops with Seasoned Shoestring French Fries and a hydroponic lettuce garnish. For all the hype that surrounds this type of meal, it was surprisingly simple to create. I started by chopping the ends off of all the drummettes, then scraped the meat back from the bone. I then soaked the Frenched chicken drummettes in Buttermilk, garlic powder and paprika for about 30 minutes. I then tossed the chicken in seasoned flour and fried in small batches. When the chicken was nicely crisped and golden, I tossed the drummettes in a beautiful bourbon sauce.



Sticky. Slightly sweet... This is one of those meals that was "just right". Homey, if you will. Something nice looking, but something that you could just tear into. (sigh) Why can't all my meals be this satisfying?

bourbonchickenlolligroove:
LuxuriaMusic.com

First off...





It's been a long few weeks. Recently, Kerrie and I saw a bulk of our families and things were a little crazy at work. "Plain Clothes Detectives"-crazy...

And yes, I DID insert a Boz Scaggs video into my food blog.

Over the past two weeks, I was able to cook for Kerrie's sister and niece (A complimentary description of events can be found HERE...) and found that my brother's new girlfriend can really cook...


Mom and Gramma.


My cousin Rebecca.


My brother and his girlfriend Samantha.

The next weekend, Kerrie's sister and her daughter came and stayed with us for the food, fun, and glory that is: Cincinnati.


Kerrie, Sue and Claire - Non Crazy Pic


Flank Fajitas, Fish Tacos & Tequila Lime Shrimp - Before


Flank Fajitas, Fish Tacos & Tequila Lime Shrimp - After


Mayan Hot Chocolate & Creme Churro

All in all, it's been a fun few weeks, but utterly hectic. I'd say I'm glad tomorrow is Friday, but I have to be up at 5:00AM on Saturday to do a catering. With employees dropping off like flies and the Catering Director constantly fucking up, it brings me ever closer to usurping the throne. To quote Bill Murry: "So I got that going for me..."

It's all about that dirty lowdown...

"Now I'm ready to close my eyes, now I'm ready to close my mind..."
- Iggy & The Stooges



Polenta crusted Cod with Roasted Corn & Tomatillo Salsa



Cod Filets
Salt & Pepper
Buttermilk
Cornmeal

Generously season cod with salt and pepper.
Dip in buttermilk the roll in cornmeal. Coat evenly.
Saute in clarified butter for three to four minutes per side.
Place pan in a 350F oven while you assemble plate. (Tortilla, salsa, and Cilantro.)


polentagroove
Iggy & The Stooges - I Wanna Be Your Dog
Iggy Pop - Success
Crystal Method - Vapor Trail
Wu Tang Clan - In the Hood
Some Velvet Sidewalk - Mousetrap (Live)

I've made it pretty clear that I like Sonic. For a big evil corporation, they have some amazing burgers. But, Sonic is not Jolly's...

Jolly's, as I have written before, was a classic drive-up burger stand. A no-frills experience consisting of burgers, hot dogs, french fries and some of the best Root Beer I had ever tasted.

Had?

Yeah... Recently, Kerrie and I drove up to Jolly's for dinner and found the place empty. Not just Cosmo's style-that creepy owner guy is there-empty but full on, cleaned out, nothing left but the shell of a building empty.






This is, to put it lightly, heartbreaking. Possibly because Jolly's had the best burgers I had tasted since the days of Casey's in BG, or maybe because they have definite plans to tear Jolly's down to build a Taco Bell. That's even more depressing when you think about the fact that there is a fucking Taco Bell DIRECTLY across the street from Jolly's already. WTF?!

On a happier note, Kerrie and I had a beautiful London Broil last night. The kind of London Broil that makes true aficionados of red meat weep with joy and amazement. Sliced thin and paired with pan roasted asparagus and a heaping scoop of mashed red skin potatoes, this was one of those rare meals that proves -without doubt- that life is worth living.




---
Grilled London Broil

Marinade
1 1/2 Cup Vegetable Oil
3/4 Cup Soy Sauce
2 T Worcestershire
2 T Dijon Mustard
2 T Kosher Salt
1 T Ground Black Pepper
1 Cup Red Wine
2 T Parsley Flakes
1/3 Cup Lemon Juice

Combine all ingredients thoroughly. Place meat into ZipLock bag and pour marinade over. Seal bag and refrigerate overnight.

Grill meat over low heat, 10 minutes per side for Rare to Medium Rare. Be very careful of flare-ups.
Although not needed, a slight seasoning of Kosher salt on the meat before it hits the grill doesn't hurt.
---





Kerrie found this little diddy that rates blogs. I was hoping for an R but also wasn't going to force it. -=SIGH=-

Recently, Kerrie and I have both been tossing around the idea of video-blogging. I've been wanting to do a podcast for ages, but ultimately didn't think a food blog would work in an audio-only format.

With the recent purchase of a very nice digital camera, my M-Audio Quattro, and a copy of Vegas Video (Thanks Tom!) I think we're just about ready to take the next step forward.

With only a few minutes of tinkering with settings and exploring the options available with this program, I threw together a quick-n-dirty video consisting of a shload of pictures already featured in this blog set to Bring us Bullets by the now defunct rock band Rocket from the Crypt.





There you have it Folks. Me cook yummy good. Uh huh.

Sunday night was perfect for a nice long leisurely meal. It was one of those nights where you can break out a bottle of Cheap-Red and just enjoy a meal. No rush, just lots of time... That's actually kind of infrequent nowadays. The idea that I can, could, and should take as much time as possible to just work on any particular dish has given way to much more dubious intentions. I cook at home, much of the time, like I would cook at work: Fast and sleazy.

Not that my cooking is bad, mind you. I've just grown accustomed to working for quantity results rather than savory, tender quality.

So, to get back in touch with my love of slow cooked foods I decided to make Braised Short Ribs. and they were perfect. Soft and fork tender, they were bursting with perfectly savory combination of tomatoes and chianti. If I were to die and not go to Hell, God would be greeting me at the Pearly Gates with a plate of these divine short ribs.




---

Chianti Braised Short Ribs

3-4 Lbs Boneless Beef Short Ribs
Salt & Pepper

2 Medium Onions, Diced
4-6 Large Garlic Cloves, Minced
2 Cups Chianti
1 28oz. Can Crushed Tomatoes
3 Cups Beef Broth
2 tsp. Herbs du Provence
Salt & Pepper to Taste

Season Short Ribs liberally with Salt and Pepper

Coat a large saute pan (with a lid) with olive oil and place over medium heat. When Olive Oil has heated, sear rib until they are nicely browned and caramelized. Remove ribs from pan and set side on a plate.

In the same pan, while still hot, add the diced onion and cook until translucent. Next, add garlic and cook until fragrant. (Do not brown!)

Add the Chianti, Beef Broth, and Tomatoes - one at a time. Allow each to come to a boil before the addition of the next. Finally, add the Herbs du Provence and stir in thoroughly.

Return the ribs to the pan, plus any of the juices on the plate, and turn the heat down to Low. Cover and allow to simmer gently for three hours.

---

This will, admittedly, leave you with a F-Load of extra sauce. No worries, just pour whatever you don't serve with the ribs into a nice large jar (or three) and use it for pasta or pizza sauce.

Bellissimo!

Being that the summer is now fully upon us, I'm all about the Ice Cream. Perhaps I should elaborate... I love ice cream, especially artisan/marble-slab style ice cream. That being said, there is one thing I love more: Gelato. I love the intense flavor and ultra creamy texture of a good Gelato. Fat and calories be damned!

Alas, I miss those hectic Ann Arbor trips where we almost always wound up at that one Gelato shop near Encore Records and Wizzywig. Every once in a while, when I get nostalgic for those impromptu northbound trips, I like to pull out the ice cream maker and crank out a batch of Gelato.

Gelato, loosely translated, is the generic Italian term for Ice Cream. The major difference between us and them is that they have a lot less air in their frozen treats than we do. None the less, to enjoy a bowl of Gelato is to be in another world. So recently, I made a batch of Coffee Gelato...

To start, I must admit that we were getting rid of a bunch of cans of Starbucks Iced Coffee. I picked up one of the cans of "light coffee" and immediately thought of making Gelato.

---

Coffee Gelato
4 Egg Yolks
1 Cup Sugar
1 T Vanilla
1 Cup Whole Milk
1 Cup Heavy Cream
1 Cup Canned Iced Coffee

Whisk together Egg Yolks, Sugar and Vanilla until pale and creamy.
Bring Milk, Cream and coffee to a boil, then set aside for 10 Minutes and allow to cool.
Stir the Milk mixture into the Egg mixture, the pour into a double boiler.
Cook over medium heat until mixture thickens and coats the back of a spoon.
Allow to cool completely, the refrigerate overnight.
Process mixture in an ice cream maker, then spread into a 1/4 Pan and place in freezer for 2 hours.

---








funkygelatogroove
Motorhead - Love me like a reptile
Misfits - Static Age
Rocket from the Crypt - Bring us Bullets
Big Audio Dynamite II - The Globe
Iggy Pop - Success

A few months ago, Kerrie and I were at Jungle Jim's (as we so frequently are) and I picked up a bottle of Rieme Traditional Limonade Artisanale. After we got home I stuck it in the cooler and sorta kinda forgot about it.



Jumping ahead, one night I made Steak Frites and we had this limonade with it. And let me say, it was freakishly amazing.

But wouldn't you know it, the next time we went grocery shopping there wasn't any left. I realized, thinking back, that it was a sale item on a display near the front door to promote a quick sale. I dragged Kerrie back to the French section of the store, but all they had was a sickly yellow lemon drink that I was NOT about to go near.

So the quest began, a mission if you will, to create my own version of this amazing drink. It was a sparkling beverage, very light and only slightly sweet. The beauty of this lemonade was that it wasn't sugary and "sticky" tasting. Amazingly enough, I came up with a recipe very quickly without much effort at all and it really came close. So close, in fact, that I'm not really worried about finding this product ever again.

---
Sparkling Limonade

1 Cup Sugar
1 1/2 Cup Water
1 Stalk Lemongrass, Chopped
1 T Lemon Juice
1 T Lime Juice

Sparkling Water

Combine Sugar and Water in a saucepan over medium heat. Bring to a simmer, stirring until sugar is dissolved. Remove from heat and add Lemongrass. When Syrup has cooled, strain into a bowl and discard lemongrass. Add Lemon and Lime juices, then refrigerate until ready for use. Mix with Sparkling water in a rocks glass.

* - I use a plain 'ole squeeze-bottle to store the syrup once it has cooled.
* - The ratio of Syrup to Sparkling water that I use is small. Maybe 1/10... I don't really measure, I just watch how much I pour into the glass.
---

Tomorrow, for Memorial Day, Kerrie and I have decided to watch the Die Hard Trilogy. It's just not a Holiday without Bruce Willis blowing some shit up.

I'd like to start by saying that this weekend was NOT a leisurely trip up north for the fun of it.

The truth of it all was that Kerrie's dad had a mild heart-attack and we (Kerrie, her sister and I) packed up and headed to Cleveland.

Her dad was being held at the Cleveland Clinic which, as you may or may not know, is within spitting distance of Little Italy. So on Saturday, while they were transferring Kerrie's dad out of the ICU to a regular room, the three of us drove over to Little Italy for lunch. Ah Little Italy... One of the few places in this world that continually entices me with it's treasures.

To start, Kerrie, Sue and I drove down one of the side-streets and walked up to Corbo's Bakery. Whenever I make the trek to Little Italy, I must get a batch of Corbo's Lemon Biscotti cookies. There is truly nothing like them. I have had success making my own before, but like all things we try to mimic - It was never the same.

Once, during a trip to Little Italy, I missed my window to get these ethereal cookies and just about went on a killing spree. yeah, they're THAT good.

After I made my mandatory stop at Corbo's, the three of us went to Mama Santa's for Pizza. Their Pizza, I will say with no remorse, is my favorite of anywhere I've ever been. The sauce is slightly sweet with the perfect tang, and the dough is crispy without being "thin". Mama Santa's never fails to please.


After our meal, which was (and always is) incredibly cheap, we walked down the street to One of the greatest bakeries on Earth: Presti's.

Truth be told, I've had full-on daydream\fantasies about working at Presti's, toiling away making all the amazing desserts, pastries, and breads they offer. Yeah, Presti's can actually get me to daydream about WANTING to work.

I enjoyed a perfectly frothy cappuccino and a chocolate covered canoli while Kerrie and her Sister split an amazing Cappuccino Cream Brownie.


The only bad thing about going to Little Italy is knowing that eventually you will have to leave. Eventually, we had to leave...

Kerrie and her sister seemed to enjoy their trip immensely, and we barely scratched the surface of what Little Italy has to offer. All the amazing restaurants and shops and, at some magical point in the summer, street festivals continually draw me in and I'm glad I got to share it with them. Now I'm not that crazy guy who rants about that neighborhood in Cleveland...

You know, I'm kind of a bitter cynic. I regularly refer to most of my co-workers as a bunch of junkies, ex-cons, hillbillies and single mothers. To lend my claims an air of credibility I now offer this pictorial review of my workspace...

My Locker...


My boss, after taking his position a little over a year ago, started referring to me as "Scarecrow". I originally thought it was a reference to the Batman character and because I'm gangely and like to fuck with peoples minds. Not so much... In truth it is because he thinks of me as a "protector of the food", much like a scarecrow in the field. My response:



Our glorious Catering Supervisor:

Umm...

Thank her for what?

Cartering? Does that have something to do with Habitat for Humanity?

Good advice...

Product loss:

Wow...

Guided instruction:

Sometimes the best instructions are the most obvious ones...


So there you have it. A day in the life of Me. Welcome to my particular slice of Hell's Rhubarb Pie...

It was a good weekend for me food-wise. As always, I am a firm believer in the most simple but good-quality food. Ultimately, that's the beauty of Jungle Jim's; anything I want, I can pretty much get. It acts as a muse, and I'm never running short on ideas...

Friday:

Steak Frites with Green Beans

Saturday:


Balsamic Chicken Sandwiches with Garlic Pepper Mayo & Arugala

Sunday:

BBQ Angus Burger with Tobacco Onions & Peppered Bacon


To round things out, Kerrie and I went to Graeters for breakfast yesterday then hit Sonic for dinner. Plus, this morning, we had Huevos con Chorizo for breakfast and I made a Focaccia Pizza with Pepperoni, Prosciutto, Capicolla, and Italian Sausage for dinner. I'm finally starting to feel the effects of the changing weather. It's consistently been warm here for about three weeks and that's helping me get back into "warm-weather" cooking. More grilling and lighter foods all around...

"It's gonna be a good summer..."
Robert DeNiro, Goodfellas


summerfoodiegroove:
Jane's Addiction - Ritual De Lo Habitual (Original artwork)
Backbeat - Soundtrack
Information Society - HACK
Wu Tang Clan - Wu Tang Iron Flag

I'm having a dilemma.

Recently, I told Kerrie that my goal for the summer was to avoid chain-restaurants at all costs. Ambitious? Sure. Earnest? You betcha. Utterly fucking stupid? Yeeeeaaahhh. That sounds more like it.

I realized, quite quickly, what I would be giving up. And almost immediately I started coming up with rules. Like: Coffee doesn't count. Yeah, don't even TRY and mess with my caffeine intake; It's not cool. And what about local chains? Like Larosa's Pizza or Graeters Ice Cream? Nuh-uh. I'll be stick with my favorite pizza thank you very much.

But it got worse. I started thinking about some bigger chains too. Like Sonic. I love Sonic. Sonic was MADE for the summer months. (Well, it was for those of us NOT in California...) And Cinnabon! I love Cinnamon Rolls, and Cinnabon is a classic.

So as you see, I backed myself into a corner. It sounded intense and brilliant when I said it but it was really just one of those "cool" trendy-BG-art-student statements that I should have kept to myself. Or, better yet, I never should have come up with it in the first place.

Yesterday, as I was walking into the apartment, I saw these two birds wandering around right under our patio.




Most people would find a soft spot in their heart for these birds and watch quietly or maybe even feed them some stale bread. The first thing that ran through MY mind, though, was: "I wonder if it would be really hard for me to produce my own foie gras..."






"Mr. Butts says: Eat A Dick Lettuce-Huggers!"
- Fark.com

I love a good Chicken Cordon Bleu.

Last week at work we made a batch for a special catering for the Prez, and after that I had the idea in my head to do my own. The batch we made was very simple: Pound the chicken, swiss cheese and ham, breading, and fry. Personally, I think if you're going to make something as simple, yet completely amazing, as this you really should go all out.

Then again, I forget that not everybody has immediate access to Jungle Jim's. Thankfully, Kerrie was very patient as I admired the many different varieties of cured meats, smoked cheeses, and freshly baked breads. When all was said and done, I opted to go with a nice Havarti cheese and some Soppresotta for my filling, two beautiful 6.oz chicken breasts - pounded flat, and a hunk of toasted Italian bread.






I prefer not to fry when I make this dish, nor do I use breading. I like seasoning and roasting the rolled chicken breast. Maybe it's just because I like this presentation, or possibly some sub-conscious health-pansy thing, but roasting works here.

Roasted Chicken Cordon Bleu
2 Chicken Breasts, boneless and skinless - pounded flat
4 pieces Sopprasotta
3 pieces Havarti
Paprika, salt, pepper
Arugala, chiffonade
Italian bread, sliced thick

Preheat oven to 450F.
Start by pounding chicken flat.
Fold or cut Havarti into triangle halves.
Place 2 pieces of Sopprasotta, then three triangles of Havarti on flattened chicken. Roll tighly (Like a jellyroll) and place in a square baking dish.
Season with Paprkia, slat, and pepper.
Roast, uncovered, for 30 to 40 minutes or until fully cooked and cheese is melted.
During the last five minutes of the roasting, toast the slices of Italian bread until nicely browned.
Assemble by placing one roll of chicken on top of a slice of toasted bread. Garnish with chiffonade Arugala.
---

We enjoyed a nice Pinot Grigio with this meal. Pinot Grigio, I have recently found, may very well be my favorite of all the white wines. Either that or I got really lucky with my selection last time I bought wine.

'Eh.

"Slash out the windows
The curtains are drawn
Lock down the compound
Bolt it and guard
Divided and conquered
Then booted to space
Beg for survival
On the planet of race
Come on!
..And Bring Us Bullets! Bullets!"
- Rocket from the Crypt, Bring Us Bullets