You're gone for good...

My mom is in the hospital right now.

This is a very frustrating time for me. I'm constantly trying to keep work, the home life, and contact with my mom and brother in a somewhat balanced proportion. Everyday my brother and I talk about what's going on and it scares the crap outta me...

She has an extremely high white-count right now, massive fluid retention -especially around her heart and in her lungs, a "mass" of some sort in her pelvic region, and some silly thyroid problem.

So far, things are coming around. They used a needle to take out a lot of fluid, and they have started her on a medication for the thyroid problem. What worries me is the mass they found. Although there is no definite answer yet, it could very well be cancer. It could also be due to an infection related to the heart\lung\fluid issue. Either way, this is what I get to look forward to for Christmas.

As life moves on, so do we. I guess that's sort of redundant seeing as we ARE life. Sometimes, though, it feels like life is the things that are happening around us - not with us. Not because of us...

Tomorrow Kerrie and I get to make another trip to Toledo to see my mom. Unfortunately, I'm not a fan of ICU's. I'm not a fan of any of this shit...

groove:
Morphine - Gone for Good
Massive Attack - Safe From Harm
Sineade O'Conner - Make me a channel of your peace
New Order - Regret
David Bowie - Golden Years
Gilber O'Sullivan - Alone Again, Naturally